There is an inability in me, an inability to put my thoughts out on a piece of paper. I am always ahead of everyone else in the game of being last. I take glances all around me, none of them are at where i would be, it makes me nervous but this nervousness is almost seeping into me on a daily basis such that i do not feel it anymore. So you may ask : ” Isn’t it better to not be nervous?” I can only sigh to myself to this question, because, sadly, it makes no difference. With or without nervousness, i am the same and i am afraid i will not change for the better. I can see myself being this version of myself forever. And i pray and pray and pray with all my might that panic will get to me and i mean really get to me and force me to squeeze my brain juices onto the exam scripts, and finish the papers. ‘I finished my paper’, this is such a norm that it is rarely spoken, who would speak of something that should be done almost (fully) compulsory before one can get somewhere with the grades. I just hope that there would be a continuous stream of ‘I finished my paper’ spoken through my throat from 19th of October to 6th of November. Only when i speak of these rarely spoken words, can i reach somewhere in life, can i fulfill my dreams.

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