The things I say every day never seem to be right. My friends always have opinions ( bad ones that make me sad ) about what I say, about what I do, about generally whatever I do.
I just feel that I’m not good enough for everything, and therefore I’m not qualified to say anything, and therefore anything I say or do is just a waste of my power.
I really hate to be sad because who doesn’t, but I am because all of this leads up to the word “worthless”. All of my kindness is taken for weakness and i feel unappreciated and alone.
I try my best to appreciate because I know how it feels to not be, it’s almost like shielding someone from a hailstorm but he/she decides to throw a hailstone back up. What I’m saying is, it hurts to feel unappreciated.
The things I do never seem to be visible in this world nor in any other world, they are merely insignificant actions that no one would care about. I wonder what kind of actions would be the kind people notice? The question asked should not actually be this but rather, “From whom did these actions come from such that people would notice?”
would you notice actions from a person who does these actions every day? Or would you notice actions from someone who does it once in a while? Would you notice actions from a person you like? Or would you notice actions from a person you’ve been familiar with for a Long time?
Now you would think, of course I would notice the person who does these actions every single day. But I think it’s the opposite, the person doing it all day should just stop because nothing is visible about them.
Sadly, I’m a little sad to be invisible. But on the other hand, it’s great to be invisible as well, because I finally feel like I’m really having time with myself. I observed my surroundings more, I observed interactions between people from afar and I observe people; there were both good and bad discoveries.
Since the good discoveries were just the normal advantages of having friends, I would just talk about the bad ones.
1. At least one person is sad
2. At least one person is lonely
3. At least one person is mad
4. At least one person is jealous
5. At least one person is stressed
It’s almost as if we had a class of “inside out” animated emotions, which was overwhelming to observe.
I like being alone but I love being with people I love as well, I can’t choose which is better. Being alone lets me have thoughts about myself, my dreams, and my future, which really didn’t seem bright, because everything I did didn’t seem right.