It’s 11th January 2016 and I received my o level results today. I don’t know how or what to feel about it because everything was so unreal. My family was proud of my results and I wish I could say that’s enough but it’s not, I wanted to do better.

When the screen showed 8 distinctions and showed my Friend getting 8A1s, I was happy for her but at the same time I wish it was me, it could have been me if I could have worked harder.

When the screen showed 7 distinctions, my other Friend went up, there was no sign of my name. When the screen showed 6 distinctions, again no sign of my name. And I started to feel like it was over.

5 distinctions, and there it was, my name, the same alphabets I’ve been writing on all the homework and “hard work” I’ve done, it’s finally appearing somewhere better and fufilling. But the results, I just thought it could be better.

I missed an A1 for emath and got an A2, that’s what complacency does, it teaches you a lesson.

I missed an A2 for physics and got a B3 and that’s what you get for not completing 30 marks of the paper.

But surprisingly I had an A2 for my English!!! And that’s what you get when your wish for a miracle comes true.

I think I am now acquaintances with my grades but definitely not best friends, and that’s the way it has to be forever.

I’m glad that I have choices but choices just make things sadder.

It’s just like a world war battle happening in my head, junior college  vs polytechnic ; academic vs skills ; let English kill you vs let communication kill you ; 50% university chance vs 10% university chance ; work hard vs work hard ; society vs interest